My Introduction
My name is Ali. I am just a man who has seen a lot. I have been through a lot. Yet somehow I have managed to work my way up to a Master's degree educationally and get back on my feet. I have raised my two children, committed as a stay at home dad, and have seen them both make it and succeed in college. I have gone through a very tough divorce, where I found out if you do not seek help on your own, the support is almost non existent.
What this all leads up to is what do we as men do when we feel the world around us is coming down? Since we grow up in gender traditional roles, thought that as men we are not to express emotions and when we do, hold them in or keep them to ourselves. It is commonly seen as a show of weakness if a man displays any type of emotion, especially publicly. We as men, are taught to be physical beings, to let out our aggressions as athletes or some other competitive forum, because that is what makes us men, right?
As society has become much more accepting and lenient towards supporting women becoming more physical beings, it still is not common for men to be accepted as emotional beings. We just have to "suck it up" and move on.
Everyday I turn on the news or here a stories of men committing horrific crimes, usually ending with the person taking his own life or accepting that his action will end in death. It does not matter what the race, sexuality or age of a male is, the constant pressures and stresses of life do not prevent men from feeling the only way to end or situation or find peace is to commit suicide. It can happen from early teens all the way through the elderly.
There is usually a story that the man who committed the crime was "a great guy" or "we don't understand why he did it." Many times there are signs. Behavior changes. Poeple see the changes but generally figure that he is just going through something and will feel better eventually. He may go to a doctor who prescribes him a medication that makes him feel better and raises his attitude. He looks great, then takes his life. Why? Now the drug he has taken has lifted his spirits and given him the clarity to follow through with his plan, which many times is to commit suicide. I am only one person and have been trying to figure out how I could make a difference in the world.
How can I help and be a credible resource for others? I went and found a men's therapist on my own during my divorce because I needed support and someone who would listen to me with a non judgemental ear. I quickly found out this is not the norm. Men just do not go seek out this type of help. I saw everything I cared about, my children, being torn away by deceit and money. I needed the help. I started seeing how other men were suffering dealing with similiar issues, so I went back to school to learn about instructional technology, feeling I could create a way for men to easily locate resources anywhere, from local to national, that they could connect with and seek the help they never wanted to openly tell anyone they needed. I found out I still do not know enough.
I attempted law school, figuring I could help men by using the law to help them, but due to distractions out of my control, I could not get the score needed on the LSAT to be admitted. The LSAT prevented me from becoming a powerful voice to help those that need it. As I continue to find other ways, such as looking at doctoral degrees in sociology or psychiatry, I feel that at least by starting this blog and adding some statistics and resources, this is a beginning. Even if I can just help one man out there, I will have accomplished something that is very important to me. I have included some links just to inform or help someone get started on the path to helping himself. If you have any feedback or can offer any advice, please feel free to leave a comment.
http://mantherapy.org/
http://www.mentellhealth.org/
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/men-and-mental-health-stats.html
http://www.suicidology.org/Portals/14/docs/Resources/FactSheets/2015/2015StatesSexTABLE.pdf?ver=2017-01-02-220152-680
http://www.suicidology.org/Portals/14/docs/Resources/FactSheets/2015/2015datapgsv1.pdf?ver=2017-01-02-220151-870
http://www.suicidology.org/resources/myth-fact
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/suicide/racial_and_gender_2009_2013.htm
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/how-technology-can-help-solve-our-mental-health-crisis/
http://www.nami.org/NAMI/media/NAMI-Media/Infographics/MulticulturalMHFacts10-23-15.pdf
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide/index.shtml
What this all leads up to is what do we as men do when we feel the world around us is coming down? Since we grow up in gender traditional roles, thought that as men we are not to express emotions and when we do, hold them in or keep them to ourselves. It is commonly seen as a show of weakness if a man displays any type of emotion, especially publicly. We as men, are taught to be physical beings, to let out our aggressions as athletes or some other competitive forum, because that is what makes us men, right?
As society has become much more accepting and lenient towards supporting women becoming more physical beings, it still is not common for men to be accepted as emotional beings. We just have to "suck it up" and move on.
Everyday I turn on the news or here a stories of men committing horrific crimes, usually ending with the person taking his own life or accepting that his action will end in death. It does not matter what the race, sexuality or age of a male is, the constant pressures and stresses of life do not prevent men from feeling the only way to end or situation or find peace is to commit suicide. It can happen from early teens all the way through the elderly.
There is usually a story that the man who committed the crime was "a great guy" or "we don't understand why he did it." Many times there are signs. Behavior changes. Poeple see the changes but generally figure that he is just going through something and will feel better eventually. He may go to a doctor who prescribes him a medication that makes him feel better and raises his attitude. He looks great, then takes his life. Why? Now the drug he has taken has lifted his spirits and given him the clarity to follow through with his plan, which many times is to commit suicide. I am only one person and have been trying to figure out how I could make a difference in the world.
How can I help and be a credible resource for others? I went and found a men's therapist on my own during my divorce because I needed support and someone who would listen to me with a non judgemental ear. I quickly found out this is not the norm. Men just do not go seek out this type of help. I saw everything I cared about, my children, being torn away by deceit and money. I needed the help. I started seeing how other men were suffering dealing with similiar issues, so I went back to school to learn about instructional technology, feeling I could create a way for men to easily locate resources anywhere, from local to national, that they could connect with and seek the help they never wanted to openly tell anyone they needed. I found out I still do not know enough.
I attempted law school, figuring I could help men by using the law to help them, but due to distractions out of my control, I could not get the score needed on the LSAT to be admitted. The LSAT prevented me from becoming a powerful voice to help those that need it. As I continue to find other ways, such as looking at doctoral degrees in sociology or psychiatry, I feel that at least by starting this blog and adding some statistics and resources, this is a beginning. Even if I can just help one man out there, I will have accomplished something that is very important to me. I have included some links just to inform or help someone get started on the path to helping himself. If you have any feedback or can offer any advice, please feel free to leave a comment.
http://mantherapy.org/
http://www.mentellhealth.org/
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/men-and-mental-health-stats.html
http://www.suicidology.org/Portals/14/docs/Resources/FactSheets/2015/2015StatesSexTABLE.pdf?ver=2017-01-02-220152-680
http://www.suicidology.org/Portals/14/docs/Resources/FactSheets/2015/2015datapgsv1.pdf?ver=2017-01-02-220151-870
http://www.suicidology.org/resources/myth-fact
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/suicide/racial_and_gender_2009_2013.htm
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/how-technology-can-help-solve-our-mental-health-crisis/
http://www.nami.org/NAMI/media/NAMI-Media/Infographics/MulticulturalMHFacts10-23-15.pdf
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide/index.shtml
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